I want to tell you a story. But I don't know if I can.
It's the story of my life, and it wasn't supposed to be this way.
God put a little girl on the earth, and it's been pretty much downhill from there. 😅 A lot of people have that story, but I'm the only one who can tell mine.
You've caught me in the middle of the darkest chapter (I hope), the one where everything burns to the ground. I've not got much to lose now, so I thought I would just start writing.
This chapter is where the preacher's wife separates from her husband and moves to an apartment with her kids and has to borrow money to buy a car and isn't sure yet how to fully afford rent. She loses her church family, her beloved home, her reputation, most of her friends, her job, her money, her security, and her kids' whole world.
Oh, the drama.
What haven't I lost? My faith in God, which thankfully, is not attached to my faith in people, (even God's people.) My sense of humor, my kids' love, my ability to tear up because clouds are so beautiful.
So not all is lost! But I'm going to just sit here in the ashes for a few minutes and mourn it all. Even if none of it was real, from the begining.
I'm going to come back home to my blog, which has been both my happiest place, and one of the most painful. Did you know I had to stop blogging years ago because I was forced to? I was never allowed to say that obviously, but I never wanted to leave this space. I loved my blog, I loved my readers. Some of you are still hanging out with me on Instagram, which blows my mind every day. (Thank you!)
I have no idea what I'll be blogging about, but I think it's going to be...whatever I want. Because it's been a really, really, really long time since I've been able to do whatever I want.
If you're not down to hang in the ashes, no worries, I understand totally. It's kind of gross here. But if we are patient, we might see a Phoenix rising.
I'll talk to you soon.