My Anxious Faith

"Anxiety" is just something people tell themselves they have when they don't want to do something that feels uncomfortable.

I...used to think that. It's ok if you want to punch me in the face a little, so do I. I'm so embarrassed to admit it. But yes. That was me. I was so judgmental and so harsh. 

I wish I wasn't so stubborn that God had to allow to me to develop anxiety in order to have compassion for others suffering from it. But hey, if that's the price for empathy and compassion, I'll take it. 

Let me say a thing: IT IS NOT BAD TO BE A CHRISTIAN WITH ANXIETY. You've probably been taught that having anxiety means a lack of faith, and that is not true.

Do you know the verse(s) that tell us to cast all our anxieties on God, because he cares for us? It's 1 Peter 5:6-7. Well how are we going to cast anxieties if we don't have any? God didn't say not to have anxious thoughts-he's our dad-he KNOWS we're going to have them. He's just hugging us and saying "I've already got a plan going, it's ok. Trust me." He created the whole universe, we can trust him with rent and marriage and our health. But that's coming from a girl who wakes up multiple times a night in a panic about all of those things, and more. I wake up, I freak out, I feel sick...and then I talk myself through what I know. "Money doesn't provide for me, God does. Whatever happened in my marriage, God still wants me. God knows what my body needs, and I can talk to him about it." Sometimes I can talk to myself/God and it works. Sometimes I have to talk to a friend. Sometimes I cry and make rash decisions, but through it all...I am acceptable to God. Adored, even. And so are you.  

Anxiety is in your brain, in your body, but not in your heart. Your heart is good, your heart wants to trust and be at peace, and God knows it. It is not your lack of faith. But it is an opportunity for greater faith, and I encourage you to jump on that. 

Love you!

-Disney