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The Umpteenth Time

I am starting to feel better. Finally.
I usually bounce back and get over things quickly, but this time I didn't.
Maybe it was the therapeutic spilling of all my guts to the internet. Maybe it's been the change in my health since I stopped eating sweetened foods, began drinking more water, and even am suffering through some green veggies for, like, the first time ever in my life. Or maybe it's just time. But the last couple of months I've felt a little stirring of life like I haven't in years. Of course I've had good times and happy days, and little epiphanies that have helped heal my soul, but this is different.

A couple of weeks ago, Grace Vanderwaal released her single "Clearly", which I love, and part of the chorus says: "I can see clearly now, the rain has gone. I accept all the things that I cannot change." That little line just clicked a button in my brain.

My sister committed suicide.
My dad left.
We moved far away from my family.
I …

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