Those who know me best would say that, well....I'm not much of a cook.
Luckily I married a man who loves canned chili and instant mashed potatoes!
So, shamefully, the last three times I've received those Amish Friendship Bread starters, they went straight in the trash. (I know! Waste!)
Well this time was different. I've been trying to work harder and try new things, so I decided to actually bake the bread! Mine turned out slightly different than usual, so I thought I'd share my altered version of the recipe with you........
Amish Enemy Bread:
(Or: how to waste an evening of toddler-free time, and $30 of groceries)
*Do not use metal spoon or bowl
*Do not refrigerate
- Days 1-5: Mush the bag --check! (I'm on a roll!)
- Day 6: Add 1.5 times the flour, sugar, and milk that you were supposed to--check! (FAIL! No prob, I'll just add less of the rest later! Still smiling!)
- Day 7: Awake in the morning to find your toddler has spilled half the bag of fermented ingredients onto the counter (FAIL! ) Scoop the batter back into the bag with a spatula....the counter was clean anyway.
- Days 8-9: Mush the bag--check! (Never give up! Never, never, never.....)
- Day 10: Set aside 4 new "starter bags" of batter to share with friends.--check!
- Realize that you're out of milk and replace it with the unbelievably expensive rice milk that your allergic-to-eveything daughter drinks, although she won't be able to eat the bread.
- Realize that you're out of sugar, and replace with brown sugar (half-fail, because brown sugar is really never a bad thing.)
- Realize that you're out of baking soda, and replace it with baking powder, because, after all, they start with the same word. (FAIL, FAIL, FAIL!!)
- Take note that while the Amish apparently don't use metal bowls, they do use instant pudding in their bread.
- Realize, at last, that you've measured out the starter bags incorrectly. Which means that your batter that you just added everything to was the wrong amount. Laugh out of pure disbelief, and put your bread in the oven out of curiosity to see what happens.... :o)
Plop down at the computer, turn on some Owl City, and type up your first recipe blog post!
(Realize as you're typing it out, that there was a whole extra section of the recipe that you completely missed!! Fantastic!)
Hope you (don't) try it! :o)
Next time I want sweet bread, I'm buyin' a doughnut.