November 10, 2013

Doilies/Update/Foster Care :)


Before I get into my rambles I want to show you the lovely tablecloth I made for A Subtle Revelry! Isn't it fun? You can click through to see the whole post. It was quite the task getting my hands on all those doilies, but I loved the outcome!


I have been avoiding writing an update for a while because I'm not really sure what to write. Not that we haven't had anything going on, we've been keeping so busy! But because I feel like I don't even know my own thoughts, so it's hard to put them down on...keyboard. Let me just say this: I've been weird this year. Like, mid-life crisis weird. I even thought about motorcycles and tattoos, although in the end I settled for a moto jacket and pink hair. :o) I can't pinpoint what has really caused it, maybe just a million little things, and a few not-so-little things all put together. I've been sad and angry and restless and "who cares". I've been mean to my husband (he only deserved it some of the time, :) haha) and I've hated even the thought of crafts or blogging. I even said "freakin'" once. Which is really hard to admit because while that may not be anything to a lot of you (probably most of you?), it's kind of big for me.
Oh but please don't worry about me. It's not so bad and I've had lots of good times this year as well. I've talked to God about it a few times, He'll bring me back before too long. I know His character too well to doubt that.

Onto more cheerful things! So what about this Foster Care thing?? Many of you have asked here and on Instagram (@rufflesandstuff) what it's like for us. It has been the coolest/weirdest/saddest/scariest thing ever!! I really love it. Mostly. :) We still have "Ace", the little boy we brought home from the hospital when he was just a week old. He...is....heavenly. I can't even tell you how much I love him. He's doing really well health-wise. He was born with some difficulties, but seems to be overcoming them beautifully and is developing on track (whatever that means). He has the longest eyelashes and the puffiest chubber-cheeks. He smiles at everyone and everything and goes wild with delight when you sing him the Macarena. Ace is a "permanent" placement with us which means that we will have him until his parents get their lives together or the court takes away their parental rights (usually about a year after a child is placed in foster care if nothing has changed) and an adoptive home can be found for him. Which we're hoping will be us! We have a court date coming up very soon to review his case so we're really looking forward to seeing how that goes.

We also do "respite care" which is kind of like long-term babysitting for other foster parents. Sometimes the foster parents have to leave the state for a few days or maybe the children are looking for a new permanent foster home. We've had 6 kiddos stay in our home so far for respite care and it's been really neat to meet all of them and enjoy them for a few days/weeks.

We had a seven month old boy for three weeks and that was the hardest time of my life. He was adorable and really kind of a sweet baby, but he cried all of the time. All. of. the. time. I was up 5-7 times a night with him (plus twice with Ace!) and he weighed about 1,000 pounds but wanted to be held at all times. Oh dear! It's actually funny to think about it now, but at the time I was at my wits' end.

A few weeks later we got a call that DCFS needed a foster home for a medically fragile boy who was just under two and we had to drive to Seattle asap to pick him up. I called back to say that we felt like it was over our heads and somehow ended the conversation saying: "Ok...we'll leave as soon as we can!" :) So Paige spent her first night ever away from home (she did great!) while my husband and Ace and I drove to the Seattle Children's Hospital. The staff there was incredibly wonderful and trained us to take care of his medical needs and then we were driving back home with him just like that! I felt like having a heart attack, I was so nervous. I was swimming in tubes and bags and syringes and bottles of medications and new things are just scary for me anyway. But we made it through! A week later the judge ordered that he would be able to stay with extended family, which is great for him so it worked out really well.

All in all I have mixed feelings about foster care. Our county is particularly overwhelmed with children in foster care so most of the social workers are overloaded and thus sometimes don't get back to us about things quickly (or...at all sometimes) but we know what it's like to be overworked so we try to be really patient with them. The hardest thing about being involved in foster care is watching the kids be ping-ponged about from place to place. It kills me. That's why my husband and I are doing foster-to-adopt, because we want to make a lasting difference for some children. But in many cases adoption just isn't an option for the kids, so we just provide them a safe and loving place to be for a little while.

I'd be happy to answer any questions I can about Fostering for those of you who are considering it! Of course foster laws are different from state to state, so our experiences will be a little different.

Other than that, we've been doing homeschool, skateboarding, Pokemon card trading, time with church family, back-and-forthing with my editor and lots of crafty work including the kids crafts features for the next two issues of Fresh Style magazine! And fighting off the constant urge to go into full-swing Christmas mode too early. Christmas, you guys, Christmas!!!! :o) :o) :o)

Have a great start to your week, friends.
Love,
Disney

19 comments:

  1. I love your table cloth! So cuted! I recently started following your blog, and am enjoying it much!

    christy@
    seamsewcountryblogspot.com

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  2. I love your table cloth idea, finally something to do with the mountain of bright orange and purple dollies I crocheted a few years ago ;)
    I'm really pleased to hear you're still fostering. The world needs more of you! With the joy that you being to the internet, I can only image the wonderful change you make in these children's lives. Thank you.
    I hope you start to feel yourself again soon! We've missed you! xx

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  3. You and your family are amazing! With all the hard work raising a child & keeping a home & and fostering, you have to be very strong to cope. Feeling exhausted gives you time to regroup! The table cloth is superb!

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  4. Disney, you are amazing! Fostering children is not easy. My girl did it for a little while but it took its toll on her little girls who were only toddlers at the time. Paige is probably old enough to be able to cope with it. I love your blog and it is always a joy to read what you are up to. Don't get too tired now!

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  5. Disney you and your family are amazing. I know that God will answer all your prayers and before too long you will be back to your normal self. I can only imagine the highs and lows you have been going through emotionally. Sometimes God lets us go through these times to make us that much stronger. I am praying that you feel better soon and please keep posting your updates. It is a refreshing change of pace to know that you are human just like the rest of us and you have lifes little dilemmas also. Thanks for taking time out of your busy life to update all of us.

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  6. im so glad you gave us an update!!! i mentioned before that my husband and i are in process of becoming a foster/adoptive family. we've been put on hold because of a house fire (boo :'( ) but thank you for sharing!!!! i love hearing about it all. and i miss your posts, but i know you have your hands full!!

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  7. Love the tablecloth, it's very Anthro. And the fostering, oh the fostering. How very gracious of you and your family, I can't even imagine how difficult & rewarding it is. Many blessings to you and yours.

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  8. That tablecloth is so fun! Thanks for the update on fostering. I've always had a deep appreciation for those who do fostercare, but I know that it wouldn't work well for our family. I love hearing your experiences, and I'm amazed at how willing you are to take in kids that really need help. I still can't imagine how you survived with the two babies all at once! I hope that you are feeling more like yourself soon. I went in and out of a weird phase a few months ago too. It's so frustrating! I'm not even sure what fixed it, other than I started cooking and crafting more...and time just changed things. :)

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  9. Hi, Disney! I am so impressed with the honesty of this post. Mixed feelings, mixed experiences, so real life - it's often hard to get that from a blog post because it's just easier to gloss over the complicated parts. (I blog and I am ultra guilty of it.) You have all my very best wishes for every project, complication and hope!

    Lurve that tablecloth to bits!

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  10. Just want to pray God's continued strength and His blessing on you and your family.

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  11. Oh, man! My sister and her family spent basically the last year at Seattle Children's Hospital for my niece, who has/had leukemia (we still have to wait a bit for the final count to see if she's "done" with it, but she came through the bulk of it with flying colors). I keep thinking it would be so cool if you two could meet- she is also a pastor's wife, in Bremerton. As I am sure you are well aware, being a pastor's wife and having friends can be a tricky business!
    It's so great to see you getting to be a blessing to all these kids! Even being ping ponged around, your love will stick in their hearts! I used to think I could never foster, but I've come to realize that when and if that season comes into our lives, God will then make us able! It's too easy to plan ahead while looking at ourselves and our natural perceived abilities. I used to think I couldn't because it would hurt too much to let them go back- because of course, my heartache is more important than any peace, joy, comfort, or love that I was able to send a child away with. Thank goodness I've at least gotten past that silliness! So much of happiness and growth in life really comes down to simply putting others first. So simple, and something your family has down already!

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  12. Loved this post - thank you for sharing! It does seem like foster care would be so super rewarding but so heartwrenching, too. I love that you're being honest about the bad as well as the good. You're still a saint to me. Take care of yourself, mama.

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  13. Thank you for sharing you thoughts. I am in awe with what you are doing with fostering. I feel God tugging my heart yet am overwhelmed with what is going on in our own family right now. And your tablecloth is beautiful! I made doilies before I was married and have a little stash of patterns and ready made doilies in my hope chest. (My Australian friend called hers her "glory box" I love that.) Never thought about dyeing them before but love it.

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  14. love how sweet and honest you are. Keep smiling. You're awesome as always; you even do mid-life-crisis' in style!

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  15. As always, you are inspiring and AMAZING! Keep trudging, and writing, and doing the work you were clearly meant for! HUGS and all sorts of positive energy to you!

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  16. Doilies can be so hard to find, but they make such delightful projects. I love how colorful this tablecloth is! You did a beautiful job.

    I also love reading your foster care stories. They are touching and inspiring and I really admire your family for doing what you do. I would struggle so much (as I'm sure you do) with getting overly attached and it probably wouldn't be healthy for me or the kids, but I do have a heart for them and hope my husband and I can adopt at some point. I really appreciate the honest and beautiful way you share your stories, though!

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  17. So glad to hear from you again; the internet makes friends of those hundreds of miles away, and it's amazing how much one can care, although as a sister in Christ, love should not be a surprise. I am sorry about this year being difficult. Unfortunately, I've known several people who've had rough 2013s, my husband and I included, and I've realized that I can't wait until I put the new calendar up and start all over. Upon reflection, though, that's purely arbitrary, but I still think it will help me work through some of the difficulties this year has brought. My favorite passage in Lamentations adds some perspective: "The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. 'The Lord is my portion,' says my soul, 'therefore I will hope in him.' The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord." Thanks, also, for sharing your stories about sweet Ace. You are doing a good thing, and a brave thing, and a hard thing. I admire you all the more for it. Thank you for being an example to me and a light.

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  18. I am a foster parent too. What a crazy ride!

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  19. Beautiful, bright ride of colours on tablecloth. very vibrant. simple but innovative idea and diverse in pattern, yet united together. just too good. Congratulate you on all the good work that you and your family does in taking care of these babies.

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