Well we had meeting at the courthouse today for Ace. We didn't really discover any definite great news, but things are still looking sorta good for a future adoption. :o)
It feels really strange saying that things look "good" when really all that means is that his biological parents haven't gotten their lives together at all so far. That things look quite bad for them and their own situations. I know that as foster parents it's easy to have a lot of angry feelings toward some of the biological parents for all they've done to their kids and the fact that they aren't willing to change for them, or in many cases even show up to visit them. Especially when you care so much for the kids and see that their parents' decisions will have effects on them that will last for their entire lives. But somehow I'm not very angry. I still can't help seeing their parents as just grown up children themselves. They probably had sad childhoods. Maybe their parents were drug addicts or alcoholics, too. Maybe they were abused and neglected and unloved. I've never met Ace's mother, but I've seen photos of her and for some reason I feel a weird connection to her. After all, she's a mother and I'm a mother, she has problems and I have problems. We're not so different. It's an odd feeling to want her to get better and then not want her to get better quite yet at the same time. That sounds terrible, doesn't it? But Ace has been with us basically his whole (short) life and I've held him and loved him and fretted over him for so many days and nights and weeks and months now that I can't even begin to think of him ever leaving. Especially to go to an uncertain environment.
Anyway, these are the things I'm thinking about tonight. :O)
I hope you're having a good night, wherever you are!