Well we had meeting at the courthouse today for Ace. We didn't really discover any definite great news, but things are still looking sorta good for a future adoption. :o)
It feels really strange saying that things look "good" when really all that means is that his biological parents haven't gotten their lives together at all so far. That things look quite bad for them and their own situations. I know that as foster parents it's easy to have a lot of angry feelings toward some of the biological parents for all they've done to their kids and the fact that they aren't willing to change for them, or in many cases even show up to visit them. Especially when you care so much for the kids and see that their parents' decisions will have effects on them that will last for their entire lives. But somehow I'm not very angry. I still can't help seeing their parents as just grown up children themselves. They probably had sad childhoods. Maybe their parents were drug addicts or alcoholics, too. Maybe they were abused and neglected and unloved. I've never met Ace's mother, but I've seen photos of her and for some reason I feel a weird connection to her. After all, she's a mother and I'm a mother, she has problems and I have problems. We're not so different. It's an odd feeling to want her to get better and then not want her to get better quite yet at the same time. That sounds terrible, doesn't it? But Ace has been with us basically his whole (short) life and I've held him and loved him and fretted over him for so many days and nights and weeks and months now that I can't even begin to think of him ever leaving. Especially to go to an uncertain environment.
Anyway, these are the things I'm thinking about tonight. :O)
I hope you're having a good night, wherever you are!
I have friends who have been in that same situation where they have the child and are waiting to find out if they will actually be allowed to adopt it or if the parents will pull their lives together and claim it. It's a hard place and they've all struggled with feeling bad for hoping that the biological parents don't pull themselves together because then the baby will get to stay. It can be really tough, but it can be so rewarding to pour love in to that little life no matter what ends up happening. Right now he is safe and warm and loved and happy, and that matters so much. I really hope you get to keep him, though!!ReplyDelete
bitterish-sweet words….I wish you all the best, xxxx AleReplyDelete
Disney, your compassion puts me to shame. What a wonderful work you are doing. Isn't it awesome to know that it will all work out the way it should?ReplyDelete
You are amazing, and what you are doing is priceless. I hope everything that needs to happen happens when it needs to happen for everyone involved!ReplyDelete
I am so impressed by your compassion towards the parents! I love the way you think about it, that they have problems but don't we have problems too? I hope everything turns out for the best, whatever the "best" is :-)ReplyDelete
You are awesome :) God's blessed you with such a patient heart!!! I love it.ReplyDelete
Keep it up Disney.
Adoption is a very difficult process because of all the documents that should be collected. My friends adopted a child three years ago and you can`t even imagine how happy they are now! They say that nothing can be better than a smile of your child.ReplyDelete
Disney, God's love and kindness shine through you, shine through the internet and bless me. I can only imagine how you are feeling. But we do know that God is sovereign over all- He is in control. I hope that brings you peace. I will pray that it does. You are a blessing to me. This has been the hardest year if my life and reading bits and pieces from your blog during it has blessed me. Especially when you always say that you love your readers, I've needed to hear that. Many blessings to you!ReplyDelete
Disney, you are sowing seeds of love and prayer into that little baby's life already and you are such a blessing to him. You are an inspiration to many.ReplyDelete
sweet baby hands!!!!! love that picture!!ReplyDelete
Aw Sweetie...First thank you SO BIG for being a foster Mother! Second, do not feel badly, you are not wishing his parents ill. You are wishing for the best possible life for your little boy. I will send some positive adoption energy your way! Thanks again for all you are doing!ReplyDelete
Been there. This post brought back all of those uncertain feelings and long days in court. They are distant memories for our family now, six years post adoption. Praying God's best for you and Ace.ReplyDelete
Hi, Disney. Yes, anger at this baby's parents would be wasted, they are more to be pitied than reviled. I hope for all of you that the adoption goes through (because the baby needs the safe, loving and stable environment you are providing) but I also hope you will leave room in the future for there to be contact with his birth parents if/when they sort themselves out. There has to be room for redemption. Best wishes, LeslieReplyDelete
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Disney! How are you so gosh darn incredible?!?! Ace is a lucky cutie to have such a wonderfully tender hearted and Christ like caretaker. Even if it is just a little while (and I pray it isn't) he is so blessed to have you. And I am sure that goes both ways. And I KNOW Paige sure knows how lucky she is :) Big virtual hug!ReplyDelete
I can understand your feelings..ReplyDelete
my grandma was a foster mother, I'm sure she wasn't when I was a child, I don't remember, I was only 6 when she passed away. my mom tells me stories sometimes about foster kids and how hard it was seeing them leave after them being with them so long and loving them so much. I can only imagine how confusing it must be to feel two different ways, you're doing such a great thing loving that baby, I hope everything works out perfectly for him in the end.ReplyDelete